Bowles Family

fairy tales

Ben bought a book of fairy tales, which was filled with stories about fairies, for the kids when we were living in AZ.  He would sit in bed and read the stories to the kids.  They loved it!  Well, we finally unpacked our books last month and the fairy book was missing.  We looked everywhere and couldn't find it. 
So, last month Ben spent part of a gift at Amazon and bought this book of fairy tales for the kids.  It's not so much about fairies, like the other book, but more the kind of fairy tales you would expect it to be about.  The stories are way better.  It was so cute to see how excited he was to show the book to the kids.  Now any night that he is home, he reads a story to the kids.  I sit and listen too.  I couldn't with the other book, boring.  Anyhow, the kids look forward to the nights that Ben is home to read to them.  I do too.  I love letting Ben take the lead, but mostly I am glad that they will have these memories to look back on!  I love these quiet, hmmm maybe relaxed is a better word, nights sitting together as a family.  I don't mind that we don't go anywhere.  I just love being all together!  Everything feels right when we are all home together.  I wish Ben had more nights home with us.  I think we have learned how to treasure them now.  Maybe before we took it for granted and went about our nightly grind to get the kids in bed, but now we know what a gift it is to be together and it has special meaning and feeling.  We have learned to take time to just be together.

Oh!  We found the 'other' fairy book last week when we finally unpacked a few boxes that had random stuff thrown in them (one of those last minute, just put in here for now, type boxes that we have stuck in the guest room and avoided unpacking).

28

Well, it's official.  I am 28!  It's kinda of weird to me. I know I'm not 20, but I don't feel old enough to be 28.  Friday, we went on the first date we've been on since August.  We definitely miss our old babysitting co-op.  I was able to trade haircuts for babysitting-score!  It was so nice to get out and relax.  We spent most of our date wandering around Target, trying to decided what to use a gift card on and that was surprisingly very fun.  Ben also surprised me with a book I've been wanting to read and it's rare that he is able to surprise me (I usually know).  Anyhow, Saturday was the day before my birthday.  I told Ben I just wanted to sleep in, have breakfast in bed, and have my house be really clean.  So, Ben did a lot of deep cleaning on Saturday and we got the house all ready.  There is nothing better than waking up Sunday morning after all the Saturday chores have been done and everything is sparkling clean.  Also, on Saturday Ben found a wet package on the door step (it was raining). 
He opened it and pulled out this cook book I have been wanting, luckily not wet.  I was so excited!  It was from my sister, Sarah.  She remembered me mentioning that I wanted to go see the Pioneer Woman when she was in town for her book signing, but I didn't want to go with 4 kids and I didn't have the book.  It's such a silly thing, but it almost made me cry.  Saturday night I was up all night with stomach pains, yuck! 
Sunday, Ben let me sleep in and made me crepes for breakfast.  My stomach wasn't hurting as much, luckily.  After that, I fell back to sleep and missed church.  Evan stayed home with me.  It is near impossible to take all four kids to church by yourself.  Evan requires an adult of his own.  I put him down for a nap and went back to bed.  I got to talk to my parents and grandparents on the web cam and Julia called too!
We had a yummy dinner and Ben made me my favorite cake, rainbow chip.       I love that Ben is using a gigantic match used for grilling and that Evan's face is looking typical after eating.  We were going to go to a fireside that actually had childcare, but I wasn't up for it and Ben had home teaching. 
Instead we had family night on the bed (Ben works Monday nights), reviewing the proper way to take the sacrament... again.  I thought it was a lovely day and I guess now I am 28!

sauron

Last night Ben was getting some fried rice from the pan and he spilled some.  I raised my eyebrows at him like, 'Yep, I saw that.  Feel free to clean it up.'  Have I mentioned I'm obsessed with having a clean house?  It's a full-time job with four kids and it doesn't always happen, but when it does I feel SO happy.  I know it might be a bit of a sickness, but "cleanliness is next to  godliness", right?  Anyhow, I may nag everyone just a little bit...too much...a lot...incessantly.  Ben said, "Alright Sauron."  I said, "What?"      He said, "Sauron.  You are Sauron.  You have an all seeing eye."  I laughed so hard!  It's true.

excuse me

For a long time, I have been trying to teach my kids to say excuse me.  They do say it, but they don't wait until I answer.  Instead of saying, "Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom.  Mom.", until I answer, they say, "Excuse me.  Excuse me.  Excuse me.  Excuse me.", while tapping me constantly.  I am still hoping they will get the concept and say excuse me and wait until I answer them when I am on the phone or talking to someone, because it kind of drives me crazy!  Ethan is so funny!  For the longest time, he has said 'auck-scuse me'.  He has gotten to where he catches himself saying it now and corrects himself with 'EX-scuse me'.  The not funny part is how he gets louder and louder each time he says it, until he is shouting.   He doesn't seem to have a volume control or if he does, it is always set to loud or shout!    He is a sweet boy.  He loves to find ways to help and is really thoughtful.  I am just realizing how sensitive he is.  If I get frustrated with him, he will talk about how he will not do that thing again weeks and sometimes months after it happens.  He doesn't talk about it constantly, but just the mere mention makes me realize what a people pleaser he wants to be.  For instance when we were pumpkin carving at Halloween, Ben told him to put the pumpkin seeds in the pan.  He thought Ben was talking about the frying pan I had filled with oil to make doughnuts, so he put them in there.  I didn't even get mad or anything.  I just said, "Oh no Ethan, this is the wrong pan.", when I discovered it.  He didn't really show any signs of it upsetting him, but now every time he talks about Halloween or pumpkins he talks about how next year he will make sure to put the seeds in the right pan, so that I can have pumpkin seeds.  It concerns me that something so little makes such a big impact on him.  I don't want him remembering his childhood as all the things he ever got in trouble for or made mistakes on.  I am trying to give him even more positive reinforcement to try to combat this issue.

Tonight he was saying the prayer and he said, "Bless dad to get a job. Oh no!  He can't get a job.", and then kept on going.  I was really trying not to laugh, but I did, especially after I saw the look on Ben's face.  I asked him afterward why he said dad can't get a job.  It was a simple reply that 'today is Sunday'.  Ben felt better that Ethan hadn't given up on him being able to get a job or Heavenly Father to bless him with one!

dawn

Since September, Ellie has been telling me she is a baby wild cat named Dawn. The first time she told me I thought she said 'Don'.  I thought, 'Like Grandpa?'.  She assured me she was a baby wild cat named Dawn and that it was a girls name.  This is no casual thing.  She tells me, almost daily, that she is a baby wild cat named Dawn.  She talks in a high pitched voice, starts meowing, and climbs all over me.  She will also sit in my lap and have me rub her belly or back while she purrs.  She tries to use it to get out of doing stuff.  If I tell her to clean up the toys she has gotten out, she will respond, "I'm not Ellie, I'm a baby wild cat named Dawn."  Then I tell Dawn that she must clean up!  She starts picking things up with her mouth or her hand and crawling to put it away.  Sometimes, I must threaten Dawn with a chance to sit in her room.  It's funny how quickly Ellie will appear and make the right choice!

new resolutions

This year I have set some goals for myself.  These are just a few.

-Make all of our bread (except for hamburger and hot dog buns-Ben's request).  For about the last four or so years, I have been really bothered by store bought bread.  Most of it has high fructose corn syrup in it.  I also hate that it is marketed to seem like you are getting whole wheat, but you really have to look for whole grain.  Whole grain bread is $3-4 per loaf.  My family can easily eat 3 loaves in a week, if not more.  I've been contemplating doing this for a while now.  It serves three purposes, healthier bread for my family, saving money and I get really good at making bread of all kinds.

-Finish reading America's Cheapest Family Gets You Right on the Money with Ben, implement the things we learn, and save money.  Then we will use that money to pay off student loans.  Part of this requires Ben finding a better job, but I'm sure that is coming soon.  That is one of Ben's goals.

-Be more consistent with using Love & Logic in my parenting.

-Learn to listen better.  I am terrible at this, really, really terrible.  I love to talk too much.

-Work on obtaining 72hr kits, short term, and long term food supply.  This has been on mind for YEARS, but we never had room for us, so there was no room for food too.  Plus we never had enough money for these things.  We still don't have enough money, but I believe that when you set a goal miracles happen.  I believe in the power of positive thinking. 

This year instead of us setting goals we wanted to work on with the kids, we let the kids pick their goals.  We gave them lots of ideas and let them do the rest.  Some of them were pretty funny!

Evelyn mostly picked from our ideas.  Learn to: tie shoes, ride bike without training wheels, read chapter books, more math, get ready to enter 1st grade, and say daily personal prayers.

Ethan took a few of our suggestions and then went to town on making his own.  Learn to: pedal bicycle, lite brite, skate better, use quiet voice (my suggestion), hold glassy dishes and not break them, play piano, make cookies, not pop balloons, not climb on the TV, not drop heavy boxes when holding them, read, be nice, hold radio, hold pictures, get ready for kindergarten, be reverent, read scriptures, and say daily personal prayers.

Ellie was in trouble in her room while we did most of this, so she came in at the end and just started saying stuff on top of the things we suggested.  She didn't really get the idea of goal setting.  Learn to: skate better, buckle and unbuckle seat, put on all shoes, to recognize all abc's, smell the flowers, make cereal, no bad dreams, be in charge, be a good mom, no yelling (she makes me seem so much worse than I am and cuts me at the same time, stinker), and be reverent (she came up with this, Ethan copied).

lessons of 2009

Here are just some things I learned in 2009.

-I don't need a cell phone.  I knew this, but I didn't want to do without the convenience.  Getting rid of my cell phone has caused me to plan better and be more organized when I leave my house.  I also feel less stressed when I am out.  I like not being available for everyone all the time.  I have a hard time not answering my phone when it rings.  When I was out and someone wanted to talk to me, no matter how inconvenient, it was I would talk.

-I am stronger than I ever knew.  Having Ben gone for six weeks taught me I could do more than I ever thought I could and cheerfully too.  Do I always remember to have this good attitude?  No, but most of the time I do.  I no longer feel sorry for myself at having so much to do.  This came in so handy when Ben was working 2 jobs and never home the last 2 months.  I did pretty good!

-Any job is a job to be grateful for.  Ben has had to work jobs that, in the past, we might think are beneath him.  We no longer see things this way.  We are grateful for any work.  Any job is a job worth having and doing your best at.  Ben hears lots of people complaining about having to work or the type of work.  He is always tempted to offer to take their shift.  Our family has learned a job is a blessing, not a chore and not to be taken for granted.

-Praying for others brings more blessings than praying for yourself.  When I got sick and Ben was out of work, we were praying really hard for a miracle.  When I finally got better, I was so humbled to find out all the people who had been praying for us.  I came to the realization that somewhere along the way we got so caught up in our own problems, that we had quit praying for others.  I was disgusted to think of how selfish we had been.  As we started praying for others, miracles did happen.  On top of that, my heart was filled with love and compassion.  I felt happier.

-My identity is not tied to people.  Moving was a huge change for me.  I realized no one really knew me or what I was about.  In the beginning, I felt extremely lonely, especially at church.  I came from a ward where everyone knew me.  I felt like, in general, I was friends or on friendly terms with everyone I can think of.  There was no one that I didn't like and I felt like most people liked me too.  If they didn't like me, I didn't know about it.  It's not like that is the most important thing, to be liked, but more than that I felt like they all knew me.  I felt like they knew plenty of my imperfections, but they knew my heart too.  I didn't feel judged at all.  When we moved, I still didn't feel judge, but I felt like I was invisible, because no one really knew me.  It was hard for me.  It took several months before I got comfortable with being me even if know one knew who that was.  It feels great now!  I don't feel like I need to try to impress anyone.  I feel like the things I do are for the right reasons and not 'to be seen of men'.

-I like a slower paced life style.  I think I always thought I would like things to be slower pace, but we have always had so many places to be and things to attend, that it was a part of me to be on the go all the time.  I got restless with the same old day to day stuff.  I have enjoyed the last few months of just being with my family, not having ties to others.  I love the same old day to day routine.  I feel like I am able to spend more individualized time with each of my children.  I feel like I am able to meet their needs better.  I feel less stressed.  All though we miss our families and the time with them, I love staying at home every Sunday and just hanging out together.  It truly feels like a day of rest now.

-It's OK to be poor.  I grew up being OK with not having lots and started out my marriage that way.  Over time, I found myself wanting what others had.  While doing Mary Kay, I was taught to dream big.  That is not a bad thing, but I definitely found myself dreaming about things that are not really important.  I was never willing to put enough time into my business to achieve those goals.  Sacrificing time with my children was not worth it to me, but I still continued to dream big.  Only the dreaming big turned to coveting big.  Over the last six months, I have really changed my perspective on what I want.  It started with employment trials.  In the beginning I wondered what we needed to learn.  How many times would we be faced with this trial of being poor?  This time was the worst it has ever been, so I wondered what we hadn't learned yet or what we hadn't retained form this trial in the past.  I found myself embracing the trial and not feeling ashamed, as I did in the past.  I wanted to learn what needed to be learned and not prolong the trial.  I figured that I could make it go away faster this way.  Eventually, my heart changed and I found myself being OK with everything, even if being poor became a permanent lifestyle.  I thought about so many other trials we could have, death, physical pain, injury, mental disorders and I felt blessed.  I may never have a big house that is beautifully decorated, huge backyard, garden, nice vacations, or the ability to buy things on a whim.  I realized that I have my family and that is all that matters.

-I am so blessed.  No matter what I am going through, I see how I am being blessed.  I feel strengthened in knowing that God does not give us trials we can't overcome and that empowers me.  If it feels really hard, I must be stronger than I knew.  He loves me and that is why he is trying to refine me and mold me into something better.  Knowing that gives me a clear mind so that when I look all around me, I can't help but see so many blessing and miracles each day!

-It is OK to let others serve you.  This has always been a challenge for me.  I don't ask for help well.  When Ben was gone, people didn't just ask to help, they did it.  Many times people acted without asking, probably because they knew I would say no.  Instead of saying 'Do you need help with your kids?', they would say 'Bring your kids over on Monday at 10 and go run your errands or go grocery shopping or just take some time off!'  Through those experiences I learned how to serve better (don't ask, just do it) and my desire to serve others grew.  I have found when I am thinking of others, my life seems pretty good because I have no time to dwell on what is wrong.  No one ever wants to be less than self sufficient, but it happens sometimes against your will and planning.  Understanding how this feels and the blessing of letting others serve you has changed my perspective.  The person rending service is blessed and so is the person receiving.  The act of service isn't the gift, but feeling loved, watched over, and protected by Heavenly Father is.  You are sure to feel it when you are served.

-Detox

-Expect Nothing

-Get dressed every day!  I can honestly say I do this now, thanks to Evie being in school.  The kids have stopped asking all the time where I am going.

-Children were made for embarrassing you.  It is a part of their role in life.  I'm afraid it will only get worse!  It's a good thing they are so dang cute!

-A kid leash is a great idea!  I can't, or even if I could, I don't want to live without one of my kids.  I think that would be pure torture.  I love them so much!

-I found myself again.

-Growing up can wait!

I am sure there is much more, but this is what I can think of now.  I am excited to follow our New Years tradition and set new goals today, as soon as Ben gets home from work!

did it

I updated all the events of 2009 that I can remember or have pictures of.  I don't know that anyone will take the time to read it all, but I am feeling good about it!  Now, on to my much neglected recipe blog . . .

christmas day

After I got my camera back, I got back my Christmas Spirit and I couldn't sleep because I was so excited! We woke up to this.     In all her excitement, Evelyn ran right up next to the bike and didn't even see it.  She stood with her back to it and we had to say, "What's that behind you?". This was the other view.  We were seriously so blessed by the generosity of others!  The castle, pirate ship, and car roads rug were all courtesy of our Home Teacher and the boys (Ben included) can't get enough of them! Candy was the first order of the day. Ring pop! Playing in the mess. Ethan's all geared up ready to try his skates in the kitchen. Ellie's ready! Ellie using a toy to climb on Evelyn's bike. Her little legs were just too short.  At this point my adrenaline wore off and I was exhausted, so I went to bed. Ben took Evelyn for her first ride while I slept.  I was too tired to be disappointed that I missed it.

Ben took like 5 pictures of Ethan and he smiled with his eyes closed in all of them. This is the start of the fall. This is Ev being a sweet older sister and helping her up. Once again, Evan trying to escape.      Ev rounding him up.  At this point, the Bowles called.  They wanted to talk to us on Skype.  Ben's mom got a computer hooked up to her big screen TV for Christmas.  It was like we were in the living room with them.  It was bit of a shock when Ben woke me up to tell me his family would be there in our bedroom in like 2 seconds.  We had a nice conversation with the family. Well, I thought it was nice.  Dad fell asleep!  In case you didn't know, he has sleep apnea and can't help it!  We also got to talk to my family and Becki, in Belize.  It was a nice relaxing day.  I loved every minute of it!  Ben did have to work that day, but originally he was scheduled to work 7am to 5pm, so 3pm to 11pm sounded really good to us!

christmas eve

I really procrastinated making and giving out treats this year.  I made quite a bit more than last year, but the decorations were really toned down.  I forgot to take a pictures, but the goodies were done just in time for the Kurachi Christmas Eve celebration.  We went over to Uncle George and Aunt Barbara's around lunch time.  Ben had to work at Toys R Us that morning and the lime plant that night, but he managed to make it over for some good eats and then leave.  The wind was blowing like crazy that day.  I got there at the same time as Uncle George got back from picking up Pa.  The wind looked like it would take Pa down.  It kept blowing Evan so hard that he couldn't get to the front door.  He was forced to walk a different direction. This was the first time the kids got to meet Pa, my grandpa/their great grandpa.  Look at their faces.  They are like 'Huh, why are we doing this?'.  We had lots of fun.  The Kurachi's were so sweet and got the kids little gifts and treats.  It reminded me a lot of what Ben's mom does for stockings.  My cousin, Kimberly, reads my blog and knew this would be our first year without our orange tree, so she added oranges in the goodie bag.  So sweet!

Luckily Christmas Eve fell on Ben's one early night off, so I kept the kids up to see Daddy before going to bed.  I realized I left my camera at the Kurachi's and got grumpy.  At first I wanted to cry and throw a fit, but I didn't.  Instead I just couldn't care about anything.  I felt like Christmas was ruined and all I wanted to do was go to bed and skip it.  I know, bad attitude.  After the kids were in bed, Ben offered to go get my camera because he "knew what I would be like if he didn't."  Hee hee!

Anyway here are the pictures of the kids in the their pj's that Grandma Frei got them. The kids were happy!  I was not because I knew the pictures would be all grainy since they were taken on the video camera, not that my camera is professional quality or anything. They are so dang cute! Typical Evan! The only way to keep him in the group.    All season long, when the kids would talk about Santa, I would quiz them on the true meaning of Christmas.  We watched some church movies about the birth of Christ.  Someone told me that in nursery they asked what Christmas was about and Ellie shouted, "Jesus' birthday.".  So after talking about it again, we read Twas the Night Before Christmas. This is what Evan did instead. This is what Ben rigged up to keep the kids from opening up the presents without us.  The left is the boys room and the right is the girls.  The other door is just a closet.